AwwwwwDuring an exchange with Groonk today, my well-documented nerd love reared its bespectacled head. I explained how I never have (and never will) like the meathead/preppy/pretty boy types—the kind my friend Kevin refers to as “Sweet Dudes.” In fact, I feel a certain level of contempt for them, because they’re usually empty-headed and vain—not to mention devoid of personality. And, while many men (and some women) will be with an insufferably boring or dim-witted person just because they’re hott, I can’t imagine a dude hot enough to make me overlook a missing personality.

Yes, I am an elitist in this regard. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m actually considering use of an IQ test to determine the date-worthiness of a guy.

But I have good cause! Nerds are better than Sweet Dudes for several reasons. Here are just 10 of them.

Ding!10 Reasons Nerds Rule (and Sweet Dudes Can Suck It)

1) They’re smart (How astute, I know. Quit with the snark, nerd)

2) They appreciate other people’s smartness (I said quit with the snark! On my blog I get to make up words if I want)

3) They get all the Strongbad, Aqua Teen, Mr. Show, and other random culty references I make (Because if you exclaim, “Hail Satan!” to someone who doesn’t get it, it weirds ’em out a little)

4) They’re not used to lots of attention from hot babes, or even just people with boobies, so they react appreciatively (Usually. Sometimes they run and hide, but that is often just as much fun, for me)

5) They love NES games as much as I do (only they know where a lot more of the hidden stuff is)

6) They have a hot vocab (dudes with bad grammar get Baleeted)

7) They can fix my computer and hook up my electrical do-dads (You think I set up this router by myself? No-ho-hoooo…)

8) They usually have a good job, or at the very least, A job (I’m not materialistic, but unemployment really is just a turn-off)

9) They’re probably not sleeping around (Although the growing faction of nerd groupies like me is making that less and less a guarantee)

10) They’re always good at…well, you know. It was best put by my second favorite Tri-Lamb: “All jocks ever think about is sports. All nerds ever think about is sex.” (Booger is #1, in case you wanted to know, and I KNOW you did)

Sure, their social skills are sometimes lacking, and they often need guidance in the fashion department—but that’s a small pittance, considering all the joy a properly groomed and cultivated Nerd can bring you for years to come.