This fellow IMed me through a profile I have at Yahoo Personals. I’m not ashamed to admit it! That’s where to find the best, most ripe and delicious geeks!
I’m surprised he’s looking; I’d think someone with such a silver tongue would be beating them off with sticks! I was able to find out his profile name and get a link to it. The best part about this is that a guy who says, “I am looking for someone who I can share with, travel with, cook with, be inspired by…someone who has conviction and a strong family,” in his profile says shit like “is there anything i can do to make you let me play with them,” when he gets a chance to talk to the actual woman. Sums up so much of the Maleinese-English translation we all have to do when listening to a fella.
The IM is short but sweet. I didn’t have the patience to pretend like I was interested.
firstname.lastname@example.org (5:13:19 PM): are they real
email@example.com (5:13:28 PM): i mean your boobs
wwwpoethelenacom (6:50:08 PM): All me, baby.
firstname.lastname@example.org (6:50:39 PM): wow
wwwpoethelenacom (6:50:57 PM): You’re so suave! Tell me, how did you learn such finesse?
email@example.com (6:51:06 PM): is there anything i can do to make you let me play with them
firstname.lastname@example.org (6:51:18 PM): you know big boob lover
wwwpoethelenacom (6:51:28 PM): Well, I have to say that this line of questioning will probably get you nowhere fast.
wwwpoethelenacom (6:51:34 PM): But you can try.
wwwpoethelenacom (6:52:25 PM): Is that all you have in the way of persistence?
email@example.com (6:53:22 PM): i may give up i have feeling it’s going to be hardto convince you
wwwpoethelenacom (6:53:39 PM): You could try something like making conversation
wwwpoethelenacom (6:53:40 PM): you know
wwwpoethelenacom (6:53:43 PM): charming me
wwwpoethelenacom (6:53:51 PM): Maybe I’m old fashioned that way
firstname.lastname@example.org (6:54:57 PM): i don’t like chating because it may be just waisting the time for nothing
wwwpoethelenacom (6:55:47 PM): Yeah, why bother spending time talking to someone when you could be clumsily groping their tits, right?
wwwpoethelenacom (6:56:19 PM): I bet you say this stuff to all the girls, anyway
wwwpoethelenacom (6:56:21 PM): Nice boobs
wwwpoethelenacom (6:56:24 PM): can I touch them
email@example.com (6:57:55 PM): wrong can i play with them
wwwpoethelenacom (7:04:09 PM): ah, I’m sorry. I have a tendency to put words in people’s mouths
firstname.lastname@example.org (9:11:11 PM): so are we gonna play
wwwpoethelenacom (9:11:37 PM): well, send me a link to your profile
wwwpoethelenacom (9:11:46 PM): this is your email not your handle
email@example.com (9:12:10 PM): and then what we gonna play?
firstname.lastname@example.org (9:12:26 PM): i like to do it in person
wwwpoethelenacom (9:12:59 PM): that’s great, but i think i need to know a little more about you than your email address
wwwpoethelenacom (9:13:08 PM): so are you going to tell me the name on your profile or not
email@example.com (9:13:08 PM): http://personals.yahoo.com/us/personals-1072507426-182074
wwwpoethelenacom (9:14:34 PM): no pic?
firstname.lastname@example.org (9:15:35 PM): yes
email@example.com (9:15:56 PM): click on view all my 3 pic
wwwpoethelenacom (9:16:07 PM): ah
wwwpoethelenacom (9:16:16 PM): that your son?
firstname.lastname@example.org (9:16:26 PM): my sisters