This entry is a twofer! You get an insipid phone call, and an insipid receptionist moment all in one! But, you know, I like to show both sides of the coin. I’m not always the smart one, hard as it might be to believe!

Ok. So this guy comes in. And he says who he’s here to see. And he’s acting pretty important so I don’t make him sign in or tell me his full name. He comes up to the front desk, and he smells great, like a forest, all earthy. But in a nice way, not a stink patchouli way. So I compliment him, as I am wont to do to people at the front desk. I say, “You smell lovely! Like Cedar and Pine.” He is very flattered, and thanks me. I call his host, and then he uses the house phone while he waits.

When he comes back to have his parking validated after his meeting, I ask him his name for the spreadsheet. I think I hear George Vanmufrma. No, that’s not right. Can you repeat that last name? Vanperferbl. Ok, I’ll just make something up. I’m not asking a third time. And who were you here to see? Yes, I’ll need their name. He digs through his bag until he can come up with a piece of paper and a name (Note: It continues to boggle my mind, as to how someone can come and spend two hours with an executive here, and still not know their name when they leave). I give him the ticket with the little pink stickers, and he’s on his way.

As soon as he’s gone, the security guard and the other receptionist ask me, Don’t you know who that was?

No.

Mario Van Peebles!

Really? Shit. I told him he smelled like a tree.


Later that same day…

Some of the fellas might be disappointed that I didn’t pose as a development executive and get this gal’s phone number.

Dumb Rich Blonde: Hi, I have a quick question.

Condescending Receptionist: Ok.

DRB: I look like, I mean I’m like totally identical, to Anna Cournicova. People walk up to me on the street and say, “Hi Anna!” I mean, that’s how much I look like her.

CR: Ok.

DRB: And my best friend Tami and I are just nutcases and we have a lot of money and just want to have a good time. And we just like to party, and everywhere we go there are always paparazzi following us, and filming us, and I was wondering if that is something your network might be interested in.

CR: If you’re trying to pitch an idea for a show, you need to call the pitchline.

DRB: Ok, can I call you back?

CR: Fine, just ask for the pitchline when you call back.

DRB: The what?

CR: The pitchline.

DRB: What’s that?

CR: It’s the phone number I’m trying to give you, where you can pitch the idea for your show.

DRB: Oh, there’s no one I can talk to right now?

CR: No, that’s what the pitchline is for.

DRB: Because, we’re reeeally really hot, and really rich, and I just think—

CR: Well, that’s great, but you’re telling the wrong person. I’m the receptionist. You need someone in development.

DRB: Well, ok, I guess I’ll call back later.

CR: Ok, thanks.