I haven’t had much cohesiveness of thought lately, so here are a few random tidbits that have been rolling around in my head, and more phone conversations.

A statement made by Adam’s Turkish boss (not during company time, as I’m led to believe): “Let’s not talk about this depressing shit. Let’s talk about happy things…like cookies or girls.”

Almost poem ideas:
1. Parody of Love
2. I like boys who wear black glasses

Phone Calls

What my Ride?
Caller: Hello, I’m calling about that program where they refurbish old cars?
H: Do you mean Pimp My Automobile?
Caller: What my Automobile?
H: PIMP my automobile.
Caller: Pinch my Automobile?
H: P-I-M-P PIMP my Automobile.
Caller: Um, okay.
H: I’ll transfer you now.

Occasionally, hearing only one side of the conversation can be even more funny than having it myself. The new receptionist has as wry a sense of humor as I have, and her straight face while fielding our “special” callers is always a riot.

One Sided Part I”
New Receptionist: Good Morning, [Music Cable Television] Networks

NR: This is [Music Cable Television] Networks

NR: No, this is an office building, not where they shoot the videos.

One Sided Part II: Moments Later, the same caller (who it turns out is a young girl calling from a strange area code far away)”
New Receptionist: Good Morning, [Music Cable Television] Networks

NR: No, this is an office building.

NR: What do we do here? It’s an office, we do work.

One Sided Part III: One Last Call”
New Receptionist: Good Morning, [Music Cable Television] Networks

NR: This is an office. Who in our office would you like to speak to?

NR: I’m sorry, I don’t have a listing for Chingy.

NR: No, I don’t have a listing for Beyonce either.

I just love that 1)this girl is making numerous toll calls to us, and 2)when presented with the opportunity to speak with anyone her imagination could conjure (because presumably, our lobby is constantly teeming with celebrities), she chose Chingy.